Teardrops
by Katamuki
Summary: songfic/angst. HP/RW. my first for both songfic and angst so be kind and reveiw, tell me honestly. I'm a big girl i can handle it.


_Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see  
__That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be_

The sound was deep and enchanting, filled with a passion and carelessness that I wished I could mock. His head was thrown back and his eyes closed tight, he looked so at peace and happy with his life. As if he had no troubles in the world. He looked my way as his laughing stopped, still grinning wide and looking around. The smile so gorgeous that I just had to smile back, it's like an infection that you can't dodge. It attacks you.

_I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about  
__And she's got everything that I have to live without. _

"You know, she's just so bloody funny sometimes." He said. "I love being around her, I can't believe that it took me this long to figure it out."

I nod, what else am I supposed to say? Hey, she's not that great you know. I bet we'd make such a better couple than you two? No, some how I don't think he'd go for that.

"The other day we were walking down the hall and…" I don't really take in what he's saying, I know it's about her. I just listen closely to his voice. The sound is mesmerizing. Rich, smooth, husky and strong, somehow all at once. He speaks with such passion and conviction no matter what it is he was saying, that he could keep even the most absentminded fascinated. I know all of what he's saying even with out the words.

He's telling me how much he loves her. How he'd do anything in his power to keep her, to make her happy, to see her smile. He's telling me how great she is, how wonderful she makes him feel. He's mirroring my emotions, only directing them towards another. He'll never know that's how I feel for him.

It's late so we say good night and settle down in our respective beds. He pulls the curtain and so do I, how could I not. I'd lay there all night and stare across the small walk way at his curtains and think about what he looks like sleeping. Instead I stare at the ceiling, the black void that fills the top of my canopy bed. It reminds me of the one within me, consuming me.

I smile as I think about his hands, so masculine and strong. His lips, thin but tempting. I think of the way his light pink tongue slips out every now and then, tasting those tempting lips, wetting them. The way he smiles at her, the way he laughs with her, the way I feel with him.

I can't get him out of my head, it's as if I'm obsessed. I know I am, there's no denying it I guess. There's never a moment that I'm not thinking of him. At night, in my dreams, during the day, in class, at meals. Over the summer when I'm trapped for a horrid two or three weeks away from him. My mind never clears of his face, his voice, his smell. Of musky woods and sweet grass, sometimes underlain with a slight sweat, all man.

_Drew talks to me, I laugh cuz it's just so damn funny  
__That I can't even see anyone when he's with me  
__He say's he's so in love, he's finally got it right  
__I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night_

I think back to that summer in the fields outside his house, I was staying the rest of the summer like always and we'd wanted to play Quiditch. Ron decided he needed music, only not the type of music I was used to him listening to. He was going through some sort of country phase, I suppose. He played a song by a new artist, something from the states. I remember it well, because that song is always playing in my head. The song isn't very great, but it reminds me of him. The way he'd sing along, all out of tune and high pitched. He always made me laugh but I tried not to let him see, I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

I know we'll never work out, I understand that us, will always be a word used only in my head. I understand how he feels for her, for that's I how I feel for him, and I am truly happy that she can feel the same for him that he feels for her. That they have each other when something happens, to hold, to hug, to love. They will always have each other, no matter how many times I pray he'll notice me.

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,  
__The only thing that keeps me wishin' on a wishin' star,  
__He's the song in the car I keep singin', don't know why I do…_

I think about the times we've made eye contact and instantly lost my breath. It's like when he looks at me with those ocean blue eyes, it's all I can do not to drown, I have to fight the tide in order to remember to breath. He so perfect in every form of the word. Flawless freckled skin, purely white and satin to the touch. Tall and strong, with sharp features and beautiful blue eyes. Everything I wish I had so he'd notice me.

It only hurts a bit now. The pain I feel when he walks into a room, smiles and walks by me. The jealousy I feel when he wraps her in those powerful arms and holds her to his beautiful self. It only hurts a little because I know that's the way it has to be. It has to be like this, it was meant to like this from the time I met them.

And really I'm happy for them. Their in love. Really.

_Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?  
__And there he goes, so perfectly,  
__The kind of flawless I wish I could be,  
__She better hold him tight, give him all her love  
__Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky 'cause..._

I only wish he knew I loved him to. For now I suppose being as close as I am with him will have to be enough. He can never know how deeply I care. I guess that's the way fate works, it just hurts.

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,  
__The only thing that keeps me wishin on a wishin star,  
__He's the song in the car I keep singing don't know why I do…_

I roll over in bed, away from his curtains. I'm sick of imagining him behind them. For all I know he's snuck out and met up with her. They do that often, sneak around to some deserted classroom and sleep next to each other, cuddling.

I close my eyes and will the image of them together out of my mind.

_So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light,  
__I'll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight…_

I can't say anything bad about her, she's just as wonderful as him. Ok maybe not as wonderful, but just as great a friend. She's been there for me as long as he has, in a different way yes, but still right there. She's the brains of the operation, he's the beauty.

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,  
__The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart,  
__He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do..._

I just don't seem to get enough on him, being around him, looking at him, smiling with him, but the day always comes to an end and he always leaves for her. He always walks by me to reach her. Why is it I've finally fallen in love just to have it be with the wrong guy? He'll never look my way, why should he. I'm his best mate.

_He's the time taken up, but there's never enough,  
__And he's all that I need to fall into.._

I'm the one he's always competing with, the one he's standing beside. To some I'd make the perfect match. It's not like people don't like me, fancy me even. It's just the one person that matters. And that's because when he looks at me he sees who I truly am. His best mate.

Harry Potter.

And when your Harry Potter, your best mate will never look at you as anything other than that.

I'll never get Ron's attention. But that's okay I'm satisfied with him faking a smile to keep him happy. That's really all I need, is to see that gorgeous smile directed at me.

_Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he wont see…l_


End file.
